Imam Shafi`i on his death-bed was asked by Al Muzni "What is your condition?"
Then Imam Shafi' (رحمه الله) replied,
"I
am journeying from this world, and departing from my brothers, drinking
from the cup of death, and upon Allah, Exalted is His remembrance,
arriving. And no! By Allah, I do not know if my soul is travelling
towards Paradise or the Fire!"
Imam Shafi' (رحمه الله) then began to cry profusely and recited the following;
'To You, the Creator, I raise my longing,
And even if I am, O possessor of kindness and generosity, an evildoer, a criminal
When my heart became constricted and my paths became narrow,
I took my hope in Your pardon and forgiveness as an opening and an escape
My sins seemed very great to me but when I compared them to Your forgiveness,
I found Your forgiveness to be much greater
You are and still remain the only One who can forgive sins,
You grant and forgive out of Your benevolence and generosity
Were it not for You, then a servant could never defy Iblis
And how can that be when he mislead Your friend Adam
If only I knew! Will I arrive at Paradise that I may take delight
Or at Hellfire, that I may regret?
How capable is Allah! For the one acquainted with lament,
blood almost flows from his eyelids due to the excess of his emotions (lament)
He stands when the night extends out its darkness
Stands against himself out of extreme fear, sinful
Eloquent when he makes mention of his Lord
And in the mention of others than Him, he is speechless
He remembers days gone by of his youth
And what was in it of ignorance, he was a criminal
And so for the whole of his day, the companion of grief has become
the brother of sleeplessness and secret conversation when the night darkens
He says, 'My beloved, You are what I request and desire
You are enough of a longing and benefit for those who have hope
Are You not the One who has provided for me and guided me
And You have not ceased being gracious to me and full of favours
Perhaps the Beneficent One will forgive my mistakes
And cover up my crime and what has gone forth
My sins seemed very great to me, so I turned (to You) in humility
Were it not for my contentment in you, I wouldn't, O my Lord, have seen any comfort at all
So if You forgive me, You would have forgiven a sinner,
A rebellious, oppressive tyrant still sinning
So if You were to seek revenge from me, I would not despair
Even if they entered my soul into Jahannum, due to the sins
For my crimes are great, past and present
But Your forgiveness comes to the servant, more exalted and more great
The bounty of Allaah surrounds me from all sides
And Light from the Most Merciful has spread in the sky
And in the heart is the radiance of the beloved when he is reunited
And when glad tidings draw close, it becomes feverish
Exhilaration surrounds me, only for Allaah
It overlooks me in the darkness of the grave, apparent and clear
I protect my love, lest my desires should pollute it
And I preserve the contract of love, lest it be defiled
In my wakefulness is yearning and in my slumber is destiny
That's pursuing my footsteps in ecstasy
Whoever holds fast to Allaah, he is protected from men
And whoever hopes for Him, then never will he regret..